By Goldfish Rahmatulai.
A time comes in every marriage and relationship known as ” crazy times”. During this time, a woman’s ability to think with her head stops and she starts to think with her emotions. It may interest you to know that when women think with their emotions, every tom, dick and harry becomes a good looking, virile, 6 feet 2inches male and as little as ” hello beautiful ” to your wife will land her on her back with him as the victor. It takes about two to six years of torture ( physical and emotional) to reach “crazy times”.
Another interesting thing about” crazy times” is that it is as a result of continuous bashing and neglect from a never do well husband (honestly only insane women allow men drag them to the crazy time period).
See the categories of men whose good wives will probably cheat at least once and chances are, she will not be caught. These are the situations that result in pregnancies that are passed on to husbands but belonging to the other man not often the case but yes, it happens.
Men who live away from home and abandon a wife in another country for 2 plus years and is often nasty to her when he manages to call or denies her money. These men believe in the power of their Ds they share with wives four times every 2 years ( ever heard the word” breadcrumbing”)? They are the men who believe that a good woman stays put, has no desire, no emotions, no need for sex and tenderness as long as she prays and fasts. So, he strings her along while he goes on with his life with others while Unfortunately, his wife stays because of societal stigma and the happy hormone called dopamine which makes her excited whenever the man is good enough to text or call and because she still loves him and is hooked on this, walking away becomes difficult so, yes she reaches the decision to satisfy her urges in secrets and be the innocent wife during the day as she waits. These women fast and pray and have a small circle of friends; they are classy, educated and pretty and the side guy is usually your brother( yes!), the Plumber, the drycleaner and your neighbour. It is convenient, she is lonely and these men are also good looking and neat.
The other category are the men who are with wives in same house. They nag over everything, disrespect their wives in public, starve her of sex and tenderness, are narcissists, won’t let their wives work and even when they do, they make sure she is not able to save as they abdicate their duties as men.
Most narcissists are violent men so they beat their wives and eventually wives lose self confidence and begins to seek validation from other man just validation and one day, a nice man pays her a harmless compliment and a wife falls. And if he is great in the sack( most times after 2 to 3 meetings) husband is abandoned completely this is the stage women begin to ignore bad husbands, starts looking good and getting out of his way. Her confidence is back, another gave it to her and in extreme gratitude, she might reward him with sex.
It is at this point good women start to slip away from their men and it is also when their men start to pay them attention. She might respond or move out but 50% of the time, a good woman will cheat on a very bad and absent ( in time and emotions) husband and 90% of good married women, will desire the body and mind of another man whether you treat them right or wrong is the determinant to sleep or not to sleep with their object of desire.
Religion and morals are not friends even the holy books understand this much and this is why words like adultery and fornication are contained therein; the holy books know it happens but warned against the devastating effect ( horrible and terrible stories abound).
What we owe one another while dating and in marriage is to treat each other right. Just do your best and go separate ways if it isn’t working than to bring pain to a home. When hearts are broken only the big hearts walk away often times, disaster happens.
Good women don’t just cheat, it takes years of pain, torture and betrayal caused by the men they love but cannot walk away from.
PS: This post is not the business of good men who give amazing love even from a distance. You rock, your women won’t let you down.
Goldfish Rahmatulai is an Indigene of Owan East LGA, Edo North.
